原创 搞笑段子：闺女喊道：老妈，你和老爸闹离婚不是为了这个家伙吧！
GoLove
·
浏览 79 ·
点赞 0 ·
评论 15 ·
3周前 (05-11)
原标题：搞笑段子：闺女喊道：老妈，你和老爸闹离婚不是为了这个家伙吧！
昨天女上司让我开车载她去接女儿，我有点奇怪，平时都是她老公来等她下班的。但她是上司，我也没多问。后来到了一所学校门前，她女儿上了车说：“妈妈，你跟爸爸闹离婚不是为了这个家伙吧？”
午夜，父亲叫我：儿子，别看足球赛了，你明天一早还要上学呢。我：爸，你也别看了，明天一早还要上班。父亲：我早上起不来，可以请病假。我：那我早晨起不来，也可以请事假。父亲：你请事假干什么？我：父亲有病，儿子时候是理所当然的。
一位懒惰的丈夫整天无所事事，妻子很生气。她对丈夫说：“你要是再不找份工作，我就不再养你了！”丈夫急忙找了份临时工，妻子很高兴地给他发了一笔钱。丈夫心生贪婪，想用这笔钱去赌场大赢一把，他偷偷地转身去了赌场。当妻子得知他的计划后火冒三丈，但她并没有阻止丈夫。第二天，丈夫回家了，妻子问：“你怎么回来这么早？”丈夫一脸兴奋地说：“我用那笔钱去了赌场，竟然赢了一屋子的钱！”妻子笑了笑，说：“那真是太好了！你把那一屋子的钱还给我，然后去请求你的老板给你永久的工作吧。”
太太对丈夫说：“亲爱的，你的朋友告诉我，你每天晚上都在梦中和其他女人约会！”丈夫无辜地回答：“亲爱的，你怎么能相信那个胡说八道的家伙呢？我每天晚上都在梦中和你约会！”
接下来的几天和骆驼胖子约着吃了一顿饭，吃饭的时候胖子无意间聊起了她，听说她离开北京之后来找个胖子说让胖子帮忙照顾嘟嘟，后来胖子果真养了这只小猫不少日子。后来因为老婆怀孕送给别人了，然后就听到胖子说，后来她去了韩国，去年回过北京一次，听说是回来办结婚证的，在这儿之后好像就再也没有见过她。
朋友的包放在车筐了，被偷了。他特别的紧张，要崩溃了的感觉，非得让我陪着他去报警！我就有点想不通了，就他这水平，包里也不会有啥贵重的东西呀，至于紧张成这个鸟样吗？朋友张口就骂开了：那该死的小偷，作死还得拉上我。你不知道，我包里放着一包南瓜子，是成品耗子药，用5层塑料袋包着的，要是被小偷吃了，我是不是就成了杀人犯啦！
小时候，我背着家里人偷偷花五块钱买了一个四驱赛车，在外面玩的非常开心，走到家时害怕被我爸骂，我一狠心把车给拆了，把里面的零件都扔了，然后拿着在地上推着玩。
大二学生，下铺的兄弟是个很菜的游戏狂。一天晚上，他非要让我带着他玩吃鸡的游戏，我不理他。过了一会，想去厕所，我从上铺下去，他大声吼：快来啊，吃鸡！我不耐烦的对他说：我去拉屎！结果，这二货顺口就来了一句：拉屎就不能吃了？然后，宿舍其他另两哥们大笑不止！
公司一女职员匆匆忙忙走进办公室，老板问她怎么迟到了，她解释说：太糟糕了，我看到了一场车祸，一个男的被甩出车外，他的腿摔伤了，头部也被划破，流了好多血。感谢上帝，幸亏我学过急救课。老板问：你是怎么处理的。我坐在地上，头趴在膝盖上，才没被吓昏过去！返回搜狐，查看更多
责任编辑：
猜你喜欢
发表评论
电子邮件地址不会被公开。 必填项已用*标注
评论信息
sprunki betters and loses anti shifted回复2026-05-13 02:09
The vibes in Sprunki Betters And Loses Anti Shifted are immaculate! The music is an absolute banger, and the gameplay feels so smooth. Can't wait to see more from this creator!
heal infected sprunkies回复2026-05-13 02:10
The vibes in Heal Infected Sprunkies are immaculate! The music is an absolute banger, and the gameplay feels so smooth. Can't wait to see more from this creator!
heal infected sprunkies回复2026-05-13 02:10
Trying out Heal Infected Sprunkies right now. That beat drop in the middle is fire! Love how the characters react to the rhythm. Definitely my new favorite phase.
Phkkkjili is my go-to for a quick game fix. The site is safe, and the payouts are fast. Definitely worth checking out: phkkkjili
VIPslot is awesome! The graphics are so vibrant, and I love the variety of games. Highly recommend if you want a fun and potentially rewarding experience. Check it out vipslot
slotviplink回复2026-05-13 09:15
Looking for the best slot site? Slotviplink is where it's at! Ang daming games and ang ganda ng bonuses. Click here: slotviplink
Newmacau's got that authentic casino feel right at your fingertips. From classic slots to the newest games, they've got something for everyone. Definitely one to keep an eye on! You might love newmacau!
Okbetphp is where it's at! The odds are decent, and the site is super user-friendly. If you're into sports betting, give it a shot. You may be happy with okbetphp!
ph33 login回复2026-05-14 18:00
Ph33 login was a breeze! Got straight in and started playing my favorite slots. No hassle just pure uninterrupted fun. Get the app and see it yourself: ph33 login!
slotomania回复2026-05-17 21:19
Alright, listen up Slotomania fans I've been spinning those reels on No1JilibetLogLogin lately and gotta say, it's a decent place to scratch that Slotomania itch. Seems legit, but always play responsibly, yeah? Check it out here slotomania.
Yo, heard about Onbet188 over at Onbet188.info. Thinking of giving it a shot. Anyone else tried it out? Let me know if it's worth my time and my bankroll! You can find them here onbet188.
PhlJili seems to be the new buzz around town! Found them on PhlJili.org. Looks like they've got a good selection of games. Just started playing so fingers crossed! Jump into the action over at phljili.
jljl88legit回复2026-05-18 06:36
Jljl88legit? Legit check passed! Been playing a bit and no issues so far. Feeling lucky? Try it here: jljl88legit
Gotta love exploring new options. phjljl88 seems like it might have some hidden gems. Will post again after a few more rounds! See what's up: phjljl88
wjslotcomlogin回复2026-05-18 06:37
Trying to remember my wjslotcomlogin... Always that one detail! Once I'm in, it's game on! Head over and log in yourself: wjslotcomlogin
