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别人用的都是香奈儿包包,宝格丽包包,而我不一样,用的表情包。

Others use chanel bags and Bulgari bags, but I use facial expression bags.

有的人复习起来像孔子温故而知新,有的人复习起来像女娲补天,我复习起来像哥伦布发现新大陆。

Some people review like Confucius, others review like Nu Wa mending the sky, I review like Columbus discovering the new world.

黑色显瘦是真的,我刚才照镜子没开灯,瘦得人都看不见了。

Its true that black is thin. I just looked in the mirror and didnt turn on the light. I was so thin that I couldnt see.

生活小常识:ATM取款时,大家一定注意遮挡,千万不要被陌生人看到余额,否则会被人笑掉大牙。

Common sense of life: in the middle of the year, cases occur frequently. When ATM withdraws money, we must pay attention to cover it. Do not be seen by strangers, or you will be laughed off.

我爸爸开法拉利,我妈妈开兰博基尼,我开玩笑。

My dad drives a Ferrari, my mom a Lamborghini, Im kidding.

有知道怎么泡到天蝎座的吗,不知道也没关系,我给你练手。

Do you know how to get into Scorpio? It doesnt matter if you dont know. Ill practice for you.

生活太艰难了,为了多掌握一门吃饭的手艺,我正在练习左手使筷子。

Life is too hard. In order to master more skills of eating, I am practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

不用迷恋锅,锅只是个电饭锅。

Dont be obsessed with the pot. Its just an electric rice cooker.

胡思乱想能瘦身的话,我现在可能只剩下灵魂了。

If wishful thinking can slim down, I may only have my soul now.

接近我之前你要想清楚,我除了好看一无所有。

Think about it before you approach me. I have nothing but good looks.

两岸猿声啼不住,没事你就走两步。

The apes on both sides of the Strait cant stop crying. If you dont have to, just take two steps.

别什么都靠顺其自然了,你不就是顺其自然单身到现在了吗?

Dont just let it be. Dont you just let it be?

大概是白日梦做多了,我有点想飞。

Its probably daydreaming too much. I want to fly a little.

希望我能成为一个有趣和有钱的人,实在不行,光有钱也是可以的。

I hope I can become an interesting and rich person. I cant do it. Money alone is OK.

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